It’s halfway and so far i’ve been doing ok. I’ve learnt that avoiding questions where i can hurt someones feelings is easily done. I’ve learnt that timing and the way i say things can also lighten up those hard truths.
This evening The Boy took me to our local pub for some dinner. I ordered a usual of burger and chips. Healthy as always. He had a steak and chips. I like it when the boy eats steak. He feels as though its some manly thing to do. I knew straight away that when we got home he’d do some weights. This makes me laugh and want to kiss him.
Back to the subject, So this miserable waitress comes over and offers to get us some sauces. Before I’d finished saying ketchup she had gone. I also wanted mayonnaise and sour cream. when she came back i kicked up a fuss. which is unlike me. especially in a pub we go to all the time but i thought fuck it why not. The problem with this is it’s difficult to complain to someone about their behaviour. As i started laying into her about how a smile costs nothing and ‘I’ve been coming here longer than you’ve been alive,’ I thought I’m getting used to this. I’ve always admired people who say what they want. When i worked for lastminute.com it was always the people that moaned the most who got what they wanted. I don’t think I’ll become a serial moaner but it was not to speak honestly if a little assertively to someone. I’ve no doubt I’ve ruined that girls day and if she doesn’t quit I’m sure she’ll become a better waitress for it.
After my stolen dress incident at Mark de Pri, I’ve decided to be more truthful. I have actually had guilt about that. The more i think about it, the more i think i should call the police and have myself arrested.
My opportunity arose a few hours ago, i popped to my local Morrisons and went to pay for some rubbish…I’d like to say it was for some salad and fruit but it was in fact some jaffa cakes and tropical juice. i gave the boy a £5 note and he gave me back a £5 note with some change. it only came to £2.25. i looked at the change as i walked off and my usual thought would be yay free food and free money. Then i started thinking what if that poor boy gets sacked because his till was down at the end of the day. I quickly turned around and explained he had given me the wrong change. he politely and a bit flush from embarrassment put the change in the till.
I have to say it actually feels quite nice to be honest. I feel like good things are going to happen tomorrow because i done a nice thing. I doubt it though. Maybe I’m just evening up the score after stealing from Primark! I’ve never believed in karma much before but I’m hoping that’s how life works.
This has been a key phrase for me the past day. I’ve discovered that i could really insult people by being bluntly honest. So I’m adapting my line of questioning to help people make the truthful judgement about themselves rather than me looking like more of a cunt than Simon Cowell.
Here are a few things I’ve used it in:
Friend: Do my highlights look to stripey?
Me: Well if you’ve noticed it and you’re not happy. what do you think?
My Brother: Why are you always so fucking late?
Me: Do you really think I’m always late?
Waitress: How’s your meal?
Me: what do you think? *as I’ve not eaten any of it and looking like something dead just crawled up my nose!
So this is my avoidance tactic. You’re not lying still but you’re trying for them to understand the truth without me going:
yeah , your hair looks shit, or I’m late cos you’re always fucking early or this food is shit.
Asking questions to people is funny as i can see people being confused that i’m replying to their question with a question. I like to think I’m making people think more about themselves. Or maybe i’m just avoiding looking like a bitch from planet bitchzog.
The boy and I were in bed yesterday. He played his usual game of will she won’t she tonight. I gave in. I will make this point now, its not that i don’t enjoy hopping on the good foot and doing the bad thing it’s just like most women i was knackered and couldn’t be arsed. I love the boy more than Jade Goody loves fame. So he kicks things off…i know whats coming. I’m a bit bored of doing the same thing. i don’t want to suggest that it’s not good. He’s Russel Brand in bed with a hint man god about him. I was just bored. He wasn’t getting this from my sighs of boredom. So speaking honestly while your loving partner is, how do i say this without being crude? inserted within me, is not a good time.
Me chirping up with, “i’m sorry this just isn’t doing it for me” is not the best way to go about it. We did manage to have a really long chat, and it definately opened my eyes to realms of sexual possibilities with the boy that i never thought possible and now i feel a whole lot closer to him. We did manage to make the beast with 2 backs uninterupted. Quite frankly the best i’ve ever had!
So i’m getting this truthful thing. Timing is a key issue. Finally something good has come of this!
So i usually go to the hairdressers and i never complain no matter how much i hate it. I just get on with it. here’s what happens when you do complain. A little web blog for you eyeball delight today to make a change!
Went shopping today.Of course usually when i shop i buy nice things from Kurt Geiger and Prada. Today i was slumming it in the depths of Mark de Pri. That’s Primark for those who aren’t in the know. watching my friend try on a few bits. Not in a pervy way. she tries on a skirt. She loves it. I think she looks ridiculous. I am suddenly torn. Do i risk telling her and she gets mad but doesn’t look awful. Or do i bite my tongue technically I’m not lying, I’m just not saying anything. I’ve never thought of myself as a people pleaser just saying what people wanted to hear but I’ve suddenly realised that i used to do that all the time.
so what did i do? i told her. In a more roundabout way. By telling her she can’t afford all 3 items she’s trying on and suggest she buys the other 2 items she tried on. It’s just a different kind of truth. Its not a lie.
So i was queueing in the ridiculous in and outey queue like they have a theme park. I get to the till. My friend keeps passing me bits of clothing and accessories because she can’t be arsed to queue herself.
£13.58
that’s cheap i was thinking. as i walk away i look at the receipt. my dress hadn’t been scanned. I panic. first thinking can i get away with this. will the alarm go off when i leave the shop. will i be cavity searched by the Gurkha security man. I should just go back and pay for it. My friend like a devil on my shoulder suggests that its their mistake and not mine. i am easily swayed at the thought of a free dress. So my first fib has come to light. I do not feel guilty about this though. I’ve been thinking all day. Fuck it. Primark is a big company they can afford to miss out on £9 for a dress. They didn’t notice and if i was being my usual dippy self i probably wouldn’t of noticed til i got home anyway. I like how I’m justifying this. It’s like I’m cutting out lies but now I’m thieving!
So today has not been to bad. Until earlier this evening. My boyfriend who we’ll call as the boy for anonymity purposes asks me if I’m OK? Instead of my usual reply of “yes I’m fine,stop asking’. I reply with, ” No I’m not OK, I’m really stressed about everything and you keep going on at me to do things that aren’t important is quite frankly doing my head in.”
So now the boy is mad at me. usually i would put up with him going on at me to do things. things that i put off on purpose because thinking about them gets me stressed out. Now I’ve told the truth do i feel like a weight has been lifted of my burdened shoulders. Do i fuck. Now i just feel even worse that I’ve upset somebody else. I’m not going to apologise though. I was only telling the truth.
Today has been difficult with awkward conversations. A friend gave me a quick text saying how are you? I replied with a list of things. I’m OK but I’m getting really stressed about uni, i really need to find a job plus I’m homeless at the minute until i move into the new place in Farnham. I have no money and my little brothers mad at me because i stitched him up yesterday. How are you?
I DID NOT RECIEVE A TEXT BACK.
I’m starting to think i should be a bit more selective with my honesty.
So here’s a bit of information about what happened at work yesterday. My boss lets call her Gloria, tells me that the manager of the company we clean at has told our big boss that we refused to empty the bins in the car park saying ” yeah sure, if you pay us more”. Gloria than tells me this is a joke and that she never said that. well as i thought i was trying this no lies thing out. I told the truth. She did say that. She may have been joking when she said it but she did say it nonetheless. This causes a huge argument in which i say i can’t be bothers anymore. to me it was just a crappy little cleaning job to get me a few extra quid while studying. She was acting like we’re bloody PA to Sir Alan Sugar!
I sent a text to her this morning saying i will need Thursday and Friday off if that’s a problem then I’ll leave. No reply.
6 hours later (now) i receive a text saying ” Rosie and i think its best that you don’t come back to work,good luck with your studies.”
So the first day of telling the truth and I’m sacked from my job. This is hardly working out to be the life changing mission i thought it would be.
2 days ago I counted that I told 42 untruths in one day. I say untruths because they’re not real lies. Those white lies you tell and you don’t even realise your telling. When somebody asks: “how are you?.” And you’ll respond with a one-word answer like ‘fine’ or ‘ok’.When the waitress comes over in some crap pub and your sitting there eating a burger that looks like a cowpat and tastes pretty similar. She will ask ‘how’s the food?’ and your response? ‘Good thanks’.
My boyfriend will ask a million times a day ‘ are you ok?’ and when I feel like saying ‘no I’m really not, today has been horrible blah blah’ I will answer with. ‘I’m fine stop asking me.’
In fact my boyfriend just came over to ask what I was doing I replied ‘nothing’.
So for one week I am not going to tell a single lie unless the lie is about the experiment I’m undertaking. Doesn’t make sense right? Here are my rules.
I must not lie about anything
I can lie if it means telling people that I’m trying not to lie.
Yes those are stupid rules.
I see it this way, if people know that I’m on a conquest not to lie, they will treat me differently and their responses, which I want to record will be altered. So they must not know!
So here is how my little trial went this afternoon.
It lasted for 4 hours. 3 hours ago I walked out of work… and may possibly be fired… we will find out.
I can see this is going to be a fucking long week.
Here’s a few quotes to get you thinking as i was researching this ‘challenge’ blog!
It is better to ultimately succeed with the truth than to temporarily succeed with a lie. — Adrian Rodgers
Once your soul has been enlarged by a truth, it can never return to its original size. –Blaise Pascal
To seek truth and to utter what one believes to be true can never be a crime. No one must be forced to accept a conviction. Conviction is free. —Michael Servetus
In the matter of a difficult question it is more likely that the truth should have been discovered by the few than by the many.– Rene Descartes-Rules
The truth was obscure, too plain and too pure. To live it you had to explode.—Bob Dylan
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. –Arthur Schopenhauer
Always tell the truth. That way you don’t have to remember what you said.–Mark Twain
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act. –George Orwell
Honesty has a beautiful and refreshing simplicity about it. No ulterior motives. No hidden meanings. An absence of hypocrisy, duplicity, political games, and verbal superficiality. As honesty and real integrity characterize our lives, there will be no need to manipulate others.–Chuck Swindoll
The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable. –Jim Davis
